Learn to let go

This blog post is a little different to usual, instead of sitting back and relaxing and soaking up some useful information, I would love for you to indulge me a little and take part as you read. I guess you could say this is a little mini training session rather than blog post but it is a really useful exercise that I wanted to share with you all and one that usually sparks lots of conversations with clients.

You may already find this easy but for the control freaks out there (don’t worry my hand is up too) this is a tough one. 

• Do you have a to do list that is completely overwhelming?
• Do you feel like you there just isn’t enough time in the day?
• Do you feel like self-care and time for your goals are bottom of the priority pile?
• Or perhaps you are just not cracking through your to do list as quickly as you hoped, and those long-term projects just never reach the top of the list?

Read on. This is the start of you making more time for what is important to you. 

I want you to write a list of everything you do every single week, week in and week out, your routine. This should be easy, look back at what you have been up to these last couple of weeks. Or, if you are struggling to think, spend a week writing down everything (yes, I mean everything) you do as you do it. You will be surprised how much you actually do in a week.

Now I want you to break that list down into 4 categories and for many this will be harder than it looks: 

Things only I can do: 

I really mean it, do not put things in there like washing up (unless of course you live alone). Things like your day job, exercise, showering etc. For some this list will be longer than others dependent on your personal circumstances and the ability of those in your household. 

Things I could do less of: 

This is for a little reality check. Perhaps you MUST dust the spare bedroom every week or you MUST vacuum under your sofa cushions every other day or maybe you MUST watch your favourite show live each week. Believe me, I used to go a bit OTT on my cleaning routine and stress myself out trying to fit it all in but by just letting go a little and changing a few of the less necessary things you do week in week out will instantly free up time. Would it matter if something you do every day like mopping changed to every other day? 

Things I can delegate: 

Do not skip this step with little thought. Really take your time here. Don’t discount another member of your household just because you don’t think they will. Perhaps you cook 7 days a week. Could you ask a partner to take over 2 nights a week, or maybe you order a take-out once a week or instead of freshly cooked from scratch you go for a quick win a couple of times a week. You could ask the same questions for household chores, sorting out life admin like birthdays, paying bills etc. By just opening yourself up to others taking on some of your ever growing to do list can help put the wheels in motion and help you find gaps in each other’s days where different tasks may fit in better. 

Things I can outsource: 

This does not take much explanation and does depend on personal budgets and circumstances. I will note however that these services are there for a reason and in high demand. There is no shame in someone external taking on some of your tasks where appropriate and lessening the burden. It is such an outdated point of view that you must do everything. You don’t have to. 

Once you have come up with your lists, I want you to go through them again and pick one from each category to work on. One only you can do, I want you to pick a set time and day that you will do it each week, so it becomes part of your schedule. One thing you could do less off, trial it out, see how you feel. One thing to delegate – approach the other person and talk about the situation and ask them to help. Finally, make enquiries into one job you could outsource. 

Good luck. 

P.S. If this blog format is something you enjoyed and you took value from having actionable steps to learning to let go, I would love to know.

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If you would like to know more about how I can help deal with overwhelm and create calm from your chaotic and busy lives you can contact me any time here.